How you and your partner can get intimate with finances

Estimated reading time
 7 min

Learn how to

• Work out why you and your partner want to move into together
• Talk about finances and get on the same page
• Split all the payments in a way that works for your relationship
• Budget and achieve peak couple goals
• Work out if you and your partner want to combine your accounts

Moving in with your partner is a huge deal – and it can be cute and fun too. Think date nights at home and long hugs goodbye when you go to work (or hi-fives, whatever floats your boat).

But in all the excitement, your finances can easily become a third wheel. Being on the same wavelength about money and why you want to live together can take your relationship to the next level. It can help build more trust in each other and (hopefully) make you both feel comfortable talking about not-so-easy topics.

Before you start planning home décor together, take a moment to think about what you might need to know should you pop one of the biggest questions you’ll ever ask your partner – ‘Will you move in with me?’.

Why do you want to move in together?

It’s time to get real deep and meaningful. Talk to each other about why you want to move in together. If you’re both aligned on the why – whatever that is for you – then you can talk about the when.

There’s no ‘right time’ for when a couple should move in together. No two couples ever follow the same path in life. So it’s perfectly okay if you and your partner take your sweet time before living together (or go for it after the first ‘I love you’).

When you and your partner talk about the when, consider your relationship goals and finances. These are the two biggest things that will influence when you and the love of your life should cohabitate.

If you’re not aligned with your relationship goals or overestimate how much your partner shares your values then it might be a sign you’re rushing into things. ‘False consensus bias’ is when we think our beliefs, behaviour and attitudes are typical for everyone else.

For example, if you do the dishes each night then you might assume your partner does too. But you won’t actually know if they do the dishes each night until you live together and talk about housework. You can manage this by being honest with each other upfront, even if it means learning your partner has some questionable dish washing processes.

Convo starters: Why is moving in together good for us? What are our goals? How will moving in together change our relationship?

Have a chat about money (even if it’s hard)

Talking about money is hard. It’s awkward to bring up and can make you feel all the feelings – everything from anxiety to pride and happiness. But it can teach you a lot about yourself and each other. You might learn you’re a pair of savvy savers, careful spenders or a combo of both.

You and your partner should be as on the same page about money as you are about each other. This can help you both work out how much you can afford to rent, how you can save and spend, whether you should combine your savings or not, and more.

Above all else – don’t jump to conclusions based on what you think you know about your partner’s finances. The ‘availability heuristic’ is our tendancy to only use information that springs to mind quickly and easily when we make a decision about the future. To avoid it as best as you can, sit down with your partner and listen to what they actually say about their finances.

Convo starters: What are your long-term money goals? How do you like to spend your money? What kind of debt do you have?

Think about how you’ll split payments

Knowing how you and your partner will split the payments of your household can have a huge impact on the relationship. Now that you’ve had a heart-to-heart about money, it’s time to figure out how to divvy up payments.

The best part is that there are so many ways to do this. Will it be an even 50/50? Or will it be based on income instead? At the end of the day, splitting the bills will come down to your individual capacities as well as the relationship’s finances.

Convo starters: How will we split rent and bills? How much are you willing to spend on groceries or household items? How much income do you earn?

How can you budget as a couple?

Budgeting can help you both work out how much and where you’re spending, as well as how to make it stronger with some money swaps. Your budget can also tie back to your goals. Do you want a holiday? A future wedding? An investment property? Think about the little things you can both do to work towards your goal.

As for what goes into the budget, you should consider the usual suspects – bills, rent, repayments and groceries. But don’t forget fun money and an emergency fund or two (just in case). We’ve got a handy budget planning tool to get you started.

Convo starters: How can we work towards our financial goal? What spending habits can we change? How much income should we split into our savings?

To combine or not to combine, that’s the question

Some couples might combine their finances for the ease of having one account to pay for joint expenses, like rent, bills and groceries. But like with everything in life, there are different strokes for different folks. What works well for one couple might not work well for you and your partner.

Before you lump your money into one account, chat to your bank (as a couple) about how to join accounts. They can provide expert advice on how to make it work for you and your partner.

Convo starters: How many accounts should we open together? Why should we join accounts? Who will manage the joint accounts?